Vampires, when it comes to just about everything I’ve read about them, piss me off. Not so much the classical depiction of the Bram Stoker variety, but the modern take on them. I know for all intents and purposes that it’s because when I think vampire I think horror. The charismatic predator harbors inhuman strength and speed and possesses the ability to change shape and dominate minds. I do not think a being who fucking sparkles in the sunlight. When I think sunlight and then think vampires immediately after I think a god damn pile of ash.
So it comes as no surprise that the Twilight movie offends and infuriates me beyond rational thought. And the sheer unadulterated rage that not only will there another, but that there are most likely several more threatens to consume my mind. I will admit that I did not have an open mind about this movie. And it was not because I was forced to go against my will by my girl friend and her mother. No. I had incredibly low expectations because every damn thing about vampires tends to move towards teenage angst bullshit instead of horror.
There is something entirely disquieting about being one of a handful males in an entire movie theater full of 12-16 year old girls. Each and every girlish squeal of joy whenever the leads gazed longingly at each other with equally dead eyes was like nails on a chalkboard. How the inane plot plodded along with no conflict or even reason for being, and how these girls just loved each and every painful minute of it. And then sparkling… until this point I did not know that vampires in this incredibly stupid world sparkly in the sun. This will forever be something that I wish I did not know. But my eyes and brain will forever have this scene burned into their existence. Every ounce of my being at that time wanted to stand up and yell, “Alright this is bullshit!” But I remained in control, if only barely. I figured making a scene would just anger the two I was with, even though I made my position well known after the movie ended.
So why have I written this much over something I despise with such passion? Because several days ago I noticed this blog, my blog, was linking to another blog through suggested links. A blog about Twilight. A god damn Twilight fan blog. No matter how hard I try to wash away this shame I can still feel it’s filth cling to me. I know I hadn’t posted in a while but why did my blog have to cut me so deep.
I caught the video streams of both Nintendo’s and Sony’s conference at E3. And I must say none of the conferences this year have been anywhere near decent. Perhaps it’s because I’m a tad bit jaded but all the big games are sequels to previous big games. Which is a bit depressing from a creative stand point. But I can understand it; when budgets are sky-rocketing and return on investment is not guaranteed the publishers do have to bet on sure fire hits to stay afloat.
Nintendo’s presentation was pretty painful to follow. Now I have nothing against casual games and casual gamers. The more that join into this great hobby the better. But when almost 80% of the show was either about casual games or sales information it tends to be hard to stay awake. At least if you are me. However, there were some interesting games in there. Super Mario Galaxy 2, Metroid: Other M, and Golden Sun DS are now all on my radar and I look forward to the day that they come out. Also, apparently the next Legend of Zelda will appear appear next year. With luck at least.
Sony’s… was apparently pretty standard for Sony. Each and every time I try to follow up and find something to make me excited about the PS3 they fail miserably. God of War? Played the first and found it to be nothing special. Final Fantasy XIII? On the 360. Final Fantasy XIV? It’s an MMO and I hated Final Fantasy XI. There are a total of two games that have a very slight chance of interesting me closer to their release: Heavy Rain and Uncharted 2. And the motion controller… just wow. That’s all I have to say on that.
So far the biggest news for me this E3 was actually brought to us by Twitter. I feel vaguely dirty having admitted that Twitter has actually proved itself to be useful for a change. Perfect Dark, by and large my favorite game, is coming to Xbox Live Arcade. In apparently 1080p. High-def Perfect Dark? It is like a dream come true. Well played Rare. Well played.
It has come to my attention of late that E3 is currently happening. I managed to catch the streamed Microsoft presentation and most of it pleased me. The start and end were the parts I had issues with. The whole Beatles Rock Band start was a resounding “Meh” and Project Natal was cringe worthy. Neither of these products interest me at all, especially the latter. However there were a few things that I did enjoy seeing.
The Modern Warfare 2 gameplay demo was impressive and looks to be every bit as good as Call of Duty 4. It was nice to see Final Fantasy XIII running on the 360, but I’m still undecided on whether or not to pick it up. The last several Final Fantasy games have been pretty bland. And Metal Gear Solid coming to the 360 is also a welcome surprise. Finally, Halo: ODST and Halo: Reach are guaranteed buys for me.
I also caught a bit of EA’s presentation yesterday and I only really cared about two games: Mass Effect 2 and Dragon Age:Origins. Mass Effect has been a day one purchase for a good long time. I loved the original and everything that I have seen from the trailers and brief gameplay clips have only cemented this further. They have seemingly fixed all the issues I had with the first game and that is always a good sign. Finally Dragon Age tickles the part of my brain that loves RPGs. The only issue I have with the trailers so far is the horrible choice of background music for them. I’m still looking forward to seeing some actual gameplay, specifically for the 360. I would like to know how it controls and how well before I make my final decision on this. If it’s like Knights of the Old Republic as a semi-turned based game I am sold.